Passive Aggressive Monday: Your Face Is Ugly

Ok, maybe that isn't so passive aggressive. But it is 10:18 PM and it's shanking bitches time. You know how when you and your co-workers are giving oral presentations on books you've read in your usual semi-circle around the filing cabinet, and the one bitch who reviewed Us Weekly calls you pretentious because you said Roald Dahl is awesome? I called her out on it, but I stayed classy and didn't throw in some red herrings like her slut past or daddy issues. But the next time she gives me hick attitude (I should know because I'm fifth generation hick), I'm taking a shit on her keyboard.